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After you tie the knot, the "whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine" mentality can begin to shape your life together. However, for most women, there are at least a few things they tend to hide from their guys—even if theyve got a tight bond.(Because hey, the men hide stuff, too!) We tapped the experts to find out what women commonly stay hush-hush about. Guilty of any of these?While doing this individually can be effective, says Voth, but in order to maintain that trust with your man, its really better if hes on the couch right next to you."Women hide therapy because it feels risky to involve him," Voth says. "He now has equal opportunity to influence the fate of the relationship. Its OK to do personal work in a given session, but he deserves a chance to be involved when it relates to him, too."1.Trouble In The RelationshipThink: Fighting. Passive-aggressiveness. Disagreeing about where to live; if kids are in the future. If a woman cant seem to work through relationship issues with her spouse privately, shell often schedule a therapy session—and attend alone, according to Jodie Voth, MMFT, a therapist in practice in Canada."I cannot tell you how often women come to therapy without their husbands knowledge," she says."Their goal? To decide if the relationship is worth saving or not."While doing this individually can be effective, says Voth, but in order to maintain that trust with your man, its really better if hes on the couch right next to you."Women hide therapy because it feels risky to involve him," Voth says. "He now has equal opportunity to influence the fate of the relationship. Its OK to do personal work in a given session, but he deserves a chance to be involved when it relates to him, too."2.Sexual PreferencesCarpenter says she regularly has women in her office who complain that theyre sexually unsatisfied. "Women dont talk about sex nearly as much, and very seldom does [any sort of formal] sex ed include talk of pleasure," she says. "People often just fall into their sexual lives." So if its meh? Ladies just "deal." Dont deal!Thats largely in part, perhaps, because wives generally dont want to tell their guys about between-the-sheets action they dont like, says Carpenter. "Its an emotionally-charged topic, and women are afraid theyll hurt his feelings," she adds, "which is why I always suggest a conversation about sex outside the bedroom, bringing it up slowly, and telling him something you do like along with what you dont."3.Health ConcernsIf a woman finds a suspicious mole, a lump in her breast or has an otherwise disconcerting “symptom,” she may often stay mum or downplay her anxieties."Women will hide worrisome concerns from their spouse to protect their husband or decrease distress—especially if it feels major," says psychologist Kristen Carpenter, PhD, Director of Womens Behavioral Health at Ohio States Wexner Medical Center. But this gut instinct to stay quiet about worries—as if keeping mum about something means that it doesnt exist—isnt the best idea. "Youre closing yourself off to support and not allowing him to see concerns," she explains. So resist the urge and dont bite your tongue. You deserve a shoulder to lean on, and tag-team support is what marriage is all about.4.Personal SuccessesBelieve it or not, women are less inclined to go home and gab about a promotion at work, a big raise or even an improved marathon time. "They do not share successes enough," says Carpenter. "They dont want to feel there is a race between themselves and their spouse, and think discussing their successes interferes with the male provider role."But lets be real. If you wield more power at work, are the more accomplished athlete or bring home more bacon than him, does it really matter? According to Carpenter, some men do feel threatened. "Many will say, I want a smart woman, an accomplished woman, but not more so than me," she explains. "Unfortunately, that exists. The best is answer is to find the right guy—someone who derives their notions of self-worth from a variety of domains, not just the areas where youre successful, too.So dont sabotage your personal successes on a mans behalf. Ever!5.Bank Accounts"Women may keep secret bank accounts for different reasons, but Ive found this is something they may have been taught by their mothers," says Detroit-based clinical therapist Tomanika Witherspoon, LMSW. "For some, its a golden rule to always have a stash, just in case the relationship does not work."This may give women a sense of security—a nest egg egg to fall back. However, if a husband finds out about secret funds, he may think youre banking on your marriage to fail. "There may be a sense of betrayal," Witherspoon adds. "The husband may feel that his wife may be hiding larger secrets."Finances are loaded concerns in a marriage, so its best to weigh possible outcomes before withholding funds from your partner.So while you probably dont have to divulge everything—after all, thats necessary to maintaining your own sense of self—holding on to certain secrets can impact the trust and support system of your marriage. If theres an opportunity to open up for the sake of a stronger relationship, why not give it a try?6.Off The Record Girl-TalkYou will never be able to break into the most classified realm of girl talk (unless you go undercover into a girls room) where some of the most sizzling, spicy secrets are openly discussed with graphic juicy details! Most women who gave their opinions said that they would never tell their friends secrets because it has nothing to do with their relationship with the guy. The inside scoop of a ladies night is your girls place to vent. Sorry, men not allowed!
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